Weaning: Gentle Guidance for Every Stage
Weaning is one of those BIG transitions that can be filled with lots of emotions. Whether you’re feeling ready, conflicted, unsure—or all of the above—you’re not alone. Some parents have a clear weaning timeline in mind, while others want to take it slow and see what feels right in the moment. Either way, your journey is valid, and it’s okay if your path looks different from someone else’s.
Let’s break it down: weaning before 12 months, after 12 months, and how to gently night wean when you’re just not sleeping anymore.
Weaning Before 12 Months
When you wean before baby’s first birthday, it’s especially important to make sure your baby continues to get enough milk—either through pumped breastmilk or formula. Breastmilk (or formula) remains your baby’s main source of nutrition until they turn one. Solids are just for fun until then.
If you’re considering early weaning due to work, mental health, or medical reasons, know that it’s okay. Your needs matter too. The goal is to approach it gradually, replacing one feeding at a time with a bottle or cup, and continuing to offer lots of cuddles and comfort in other ways.
We can work together to create a gentle plan that keeps your baby nourished while also supporting your mental, physical, and emotional health.
Weaning After 12 Months
After your baby turns one, breastfeeding becomes more about connection, comfort, and regulation than it does nutrition. Some toddlers naturally begin to space out or drop feeds on their own. Others want to keep nursing just as often—and that’s okay too.
If you’re ready to wean or reduce feeds but your toddler isn’t quite on board, a gradual and respectful approach is best. Talk about it during the day, swap nursing for snuggles, and begin to create new routines around sleep and comfort.
For extra support during this phase, we love these beautifully written books that help toddlers understand the transition and feel safe and connected through the process:
📚 Nursies When the Sun Shines by Katherine C. Havener (get it here)
This sweet, watercolor-illustrated book gently introduces the idea of night weaning. It helps toddlers learn that “nursies” happen when the sun shines, and nighttime is for sleeping. It’s a lovely resource for slowly setting boundaries around nighttime nursing in a warm and loving way.
📚 My Milk Will Go, Our Love Will Grow by Jessica Elder (get it here)
Written from the perspective of a toddler, this rhyming book supports weaning with simple language, emotional validation, and lots of love. It reinforces that even as nursing ends, a parent’s love and nurturing continue. This is a beautiful keepsake and conversation starter for toddlers who are weaning.
Night Weaning After 12 Months
If your baby is over a year old and still waking to nurse multiple times a night—and you’re feeling beyond touched out—it might be time to consider night weaning. You can still continue nursing during the day if that feels right for you both.
A gentle and well-loved approach to night weaning comes from Dr. Jay Gordon, especially for families who co-sleep or bedshare. His method is connection-based and baby-led, designed to shift your sleep routine without causing unnecessary stress.
You can read the full guide here, but here’s the gist of what he recommends:
Choose a consistent 7-hour stretch overnight (like 11pm–6am) during which you won’t nurse.
Offer other comfort measures like cuddles, patting, or rocking when baby wakes.
Prepare your toddler in advance by explaining the change.
Stay calm and consistent while continuing to offer love and presence.
Night weaning doesn’t mean you have to wean completely. For many families, it’s the change that makes continued breastfeeding more sustainable long-term.
What If You’re Still Nursing After One (or Two... or Three)?
One of the most common things we hear is, “But aren’t you supposed to stop breastfeeding after a year?”
Here’s the thing: babies don’t magically stop needing connection, comfort, or nourishment when they blow out their first candle. Breastfeeding after 12 months (and even after 24 months) is still full of benefits. It continues to support the immune system, offers emotional regulation, and strengthens your bond—often in ways that go far beyond the milk itself.
If you’re still nursing your toddler, you’re not spoiling them. You’re meeting their needs in a way that is biologically normal and deeply nurturing. And if you're ready to stop, that’s okay too—but let it be your decision, not something driven by outside pressure or societal expectations.
For toddlers over two, one of my favorite weaning tools is to help them create a “big kid book.” Sit down together and make a simple homemade book about all the special things they can do now that a baby can’t—like ride a scooter, help make muffins, go down the slide, or play with Play-Doh.
Explain that babies still need milk, but big kids get to enjoy all these new adventures. It’s a sweet, empowering way to help them feel proud of who they are becoming, while gently letting go of what they’re leaving behind.
You’re not doing this “too long.” You’re doing what works for your family. And that’s exactly the right way to do it.
Final Thoughts
Weaning doesn’t have to be black and white. Whether you're stopping before 12 months, moving toward full weaning after toddlerhood, or just night weaning to protect your sleep—your process can be slow, responsive, and rooted in connection.
💛 Need help deciding what’s next or making a gentle plan? Let’s talk. Book a virtual or in-person consult and we’ll figure it out together, one step at a time.
👉 Click here to schedule your consult
You’ve nourished your baby beautifully. You’re allowed to make changes that support your well-being and your bond. You’re doing a wonderful job. 💛